Healing through Art

This semester has taken me on a whirl wind I was not expecting! Going back to last year, I was working on a series of artwork of healing through pain, suffering, and hurt. Then in May when everything in my life turned upside down, when my boyfriend of 4 years decided he no longer wanted to be a part of my life to finding out he later found someone else. To for the first time in my life feeling completely free and loving the freedom Junction brought, to dating and winding up engaged and ending it in a matter of 2 months when I felt smothered and more like a possession then a person. Realizing this is not for me and I need to be alone to really find myself. This past summer into this semester has been crazy fast and overwhelming all at the same time. Those doors that have closed have opened up so many doors I could never have dreamt of! For the first time in my life I put ME first! ME! What a concept! I focused first on forgiving and truly worked through the process I never thought possible. To forgive my son’s father, an emotionally and verbally abusive man, who hurt me and my son in so many, many way was, for me, a pure miracle. I, for the first time gave everything to God. For me to relinquish control and let go is something incredibly hard to do, but has been truly amazing! My artworks, techniques, style, have surpassed what I thought I could do. The pieces started to flow from me, I found myself painting vessels. After creating on stage at church for the 4^th anniversary, I felt so humbled and I feel that’s when my life truly changed. We are all vessels. Forgiveness happened. I truly let go and let God. The opportunities are endless and I realized I put limitations on myself. My artwork has taken off and not only have I brought healing to myself but I am now bringing healing to others through the crosses I have been painting.

A former student of mine, Bryan, had asked me to paint on a cross he made and covered with his brother’s letters he wrote while in Iraq serving. I painted an American Flag, dog tags, boots and a helmet. Just from posting it on Facebook, I have had so many orders for crosses. This has been a tremendous opportunity for me and Bryan. Bryan suffers from severe depression, anxiety, is on all sorts of meds that make him shake, paranoid, etc. He used to sleep 23 hours a day, was a hermit and would barely get out of bed. He came down this past summer and spent 3 weeks with me and my family and did a lot of healing. Now that he has crosses to make for me to paint (we split what we make from the crosses) he is up early, working, he makes his own crosses, helps his dad, he might take 2 naps a day, and has made massive improvements, is happy and feels like he has purpose again. Along with these crosses bringing healing to Bryan, it is also healing those families we are making the crosses for.

So many of you have touched my life and my research I had no idea. At the beginning of the semester I really felt lost. I felt like I was on the wrong path, doing the wrong research and really questioned what I was doing. But watching each of you grow, change ideas, the Doors, Daniel work through his process, Lynn and trying to find home, Pamela and all her adventures, have finally worked its way in and I know I am on the right path. I did not get to all the books I had planned on this semester, but I feel I am right where I am supposed to be and I know that this type of work takes time and is not something that can be rushed. I do plan on reading (hopefully) over Christmas break a few books on working on my relationship with my son. I know he has so many issues he deals with and it is important that I focus on our relationship and building a strong foundation because I am his home. The foundation is the most important part and I need that door or window when opens them, to stay open for as long as possible and to set the table where he is always able to confide in me and that I am his safe place.

As far as I have come in such a short amount of time, and the healing I have done, has been amazing. I have never felt so FREE, so right where I need to be, calm, at peace, and just down right HAPPY in my life! There are so many things to come and I know there will always be valleys before the mountain tops but I know I am on the right path and excited for the adventures ahead and to continue the research I am working on!

                                          the first cross that Bryan had me paint for his brother

the vessel I made during the 4th anniversary church service. 

one of the crosses that Bryan makes

vessels

                                                                      vessels